Pride Month is upon us and many churches now celebrate Pride by hosting worship services or having a booth at Pride events. Here are some practical tips on how to create welcoming programming for transgender and gender-expansive youth and adults. By Pace Warfield.

I grew up at a time when churches that supported the LGBTQIA+ community were few and far between, I can only imagine how my life would have been different for the better as a young person to see the ways that so many churches now truly live into welcoming the LGBTQIA+ community. As a queer person, I am amazed at how many churches now have vocal support and recognition of the LGBTQIA+ community. As an educator, I am so deeply grateful that the children and youth of today are growing up where there are a growing number of churches that participate in Pride events and are openly welcoming to the LGBTQIA+ community.

I am a nonbinary transgender woman who uses pronouns like they and them, and I have worked in children, youth, and family ministries for twenty years. I often am asked by peers and colleagues how they can make their church or CYF programs more inclusive towards the transgender, gender-expansive, and nonbinary communities. (Going forward, I will use trans as an umbrella term that includes all of these communities—for more information about the definition of these and other terms related to the transgender community, click here.) It should be noted that some nonbinary and gender-expansive people do not use the term transgender to describe themselves, while many do. Furthermore, so much is contextual, and my advice is always first and foremost to ask the trans people you are engaging with what their needs and accommodations are and what ideas they have for your church or program. What follows is a summary of the resources and advice I share when asked how to be more inclusive and welcoming.

About Trans Christians

According to Pew Research Center, about 5% of young people identify as a gender that is different from their sex assigned at birth. Austen Hartke, author of Transforming: The Bible & the Lives of Transgender Christians, shares in a Sojourners article that a large percentage of trans people have experienced rejection from their religious communities. According to the Trevor Project, over 50% of LGBTQIA+ children and youth have experienced bullying, those numbers are significantly higher among trans and gender-nonconforming children and youth. Bullying also increases the rate of suicide and suicidal ideation by LGBTQIA+ youth threefold, with 32% of transgender youth having attempted death by suicide. Caring for trans people—especially trans youth—and their families has the potential to be lifesaving.

How to Welcome the Trans Community

Here are some relatively easy tips that you may be able to implement right away:

• On registration or permission forms, do not include gender unless absolutely necessary. When you do have to include gender as an option (such as for an overnight event), make sure to include an option where participants can write in their own gender identity. If you are working with an organization outside of your church that only has the gender binary as an option (male and female) or requires a legal gender marker that may be different from a person’s lived gender, make sure to notate that on the form and the reasoning for why that is needed.
• Include pronouns in all introductions, name tags, and meetings.
• Have a gender-neutral restroom that is clearly marked. If your church or event is hosted at a place that does not have gender-neutral restrooms, make sure to designate an existing gendered restroom as gender-neutral for particular events that you want to be accessible for trans people.
• Honor Pride Month (June), Transgender Day of Visibility (March 30), and Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20) in your church’s prayers, programming, and litanies (though do not host services for the latter two commemorations unless they are organized by the trans community or trans congregation leaders).

An important note about safety and trans youth (and LGBTQIA+ people of any age): please always check with an individual who comes out to you or asks you to use different pronouns for them who they are out to and in what settings they prefer their pronouns to be used. Not all households are safe places for trans people to be open, so having a safe place at church or a gathering like youth group where they can be themselves without fear of it getting back to an unsafe household member is foundational to creating a welcoming and affirming space.  

Resources for Trans Youth, Their Families, and CYF Leaders        

There are many resources for youth, families, teachers, and CYF Leaders on this topic. I personally like to have copies of a few books either in the church library or in my personal collection that I can give to youth who are looking for help or resources in navigating their gender.  Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon and How to Be You: Stop Trying to Be Someone Else and Start Living Your Life by Jeffrey Marsh are both written by nonbinary trans people and provide practical advice and help for trans, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, and gender-questioning youth.  My (New) Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein is an interactive book that helps people of any age sort out their own gender identities. Queerfully and Wonderfully Made: A Guide for LGBTQ+ Christian Teens, edited by Leigh Finke, has practical advice, theological support, and answers to questions that many LGBTQIA+ teens may have.

For families, households, and supportive CYF Leaders, I recommend the following resources. Organizations like PFLAG, the National Center for Transgender Equality, and Reconciling Works have plenty of free resources on their website about a wide variety of topics related to trans and other LGBTQIA+ people. The same team behind Queerfully and Wonderfully Made published a book called Welcoming and Affirming: A Guide to Supporting and Working with LGBTQ+ Christian Youth that leads readers through answers to various questions, like “How should I respond when a teen comes out?” and “How do I talk to a trans youth?” Finally, Rev. Emily E. Ewing’s blog post “Talking to Kids About Gender” has links to children’s books and other resources that can help children learn about gender in safe, expansive, and age-appropriate ways.

Peace and all good,
Pace Warfield

About the Writer

Pace C. Warfield (they/them) is a doctoral candidate at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, CA where their research interests include Reformation history and queer theological anthropology. In addition to their studies, Pace has worked in children, youth, and family ministries for over fifteen years at various congregations throughout the country. Pace has previously written blog posts for We Talk, We Listen, the diversity blog of the Lutheran School of Theology in Chicago, on mental health and the holidays called “Waiting for Snow” and a Lutheran approach to LGBTQIA+ systematic theology called “The Queer Ground.” They have additionally spoken or written about surviving the holidays as a queer person on Horror Nerds at Church “The Queer Holiday Survival Guide” and “Queering Grief” on their personal blog. They live in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota with their partner and two dogs.

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